Transitioning Home

It has been almost a month since my return to the "real world" from Summit Semester.

Sometimes it feels like a dream, almost like it never happened and was all in my imagination. But I know that's not true. Everyday is a little bit of a struggle to live everyday life without the family that was created and re-learning the most basic things like how my family functions in the simple day-to-day life.

I keep telling myself "it will get easier" but is that what I really want? Do I want it to get easier? Or do I want Semester to stay a constant thought in the back of my head and the way we lived to constantly be brought to mind as a reminder that this isn't all there is to life. A reminder of a better version of myself. Don't I want that more than to be comfortable or the pain of leaving to go away?

So in a sense, yes, I do want it to get easier, but I don't want the old habits and the things that were not benefiting me to rule anymore. I don't want it to be comfortable.  I want new habits to form and to find a way to become the same person at home that I was able to be in the context of Semester.

I miss everyone dearly, but getting to hear their voices on the phone has become a very special treat and makes me smile ear-to-ear every time I am able to call them. It can make it harder too, knowing they are so far away and I can't walk five minutes and be sitting next to them, but it is still good. Rewiring relationships can be hard, but slowly it is happening and I cannot wait for the day I am able to see them all again face-to-face. There is something so special about that and over the past four months I have learned how valuable being right in front of people is and how much it adds to the relationship.

Each day I remind myself that Summit wasn't the end of anything. It was the start of an amazing life with 31 amazing new friends. Though sometimes I still find myself looking at pictures and tearing up or texting with someone and feeling an ache in my heart because they're not here, I wouldn't trade a moment of this pain for their friendships and the experiences I was able to have.