Some pictures...

I know! Another blog post in a week! It's incredible! I am actually getting on top of school and able to have my weekends free, which means I can use this blog a little more. :)

It has been a while since I have posted any pictures on here, so here are some from my life recently....

Park with Eddie Bear

My Sunday School kiddos singing for Easter

Lunch and shopping date with my twin <3

Many, many video calls with Bella

The Flash is a raccoon, didn't you know?

Finley and Eddie had a play date

Eddie making cookies

Eddie loves reading outside

Eddie playing outside

Bowling with Bella. She has
consistently won.

Simon bo-bimon playing with blocks. 

What a Week!

Most times, when looking at what happened this week, I would be overwhelmed and exhausted emotionally, as well as physically. It was a crazy week! But God is amazing and I actually enjoyed the week immensely.

Spring Break.
It is a term all students are familiar with, but also babysitters. It means the kids are not at school and my life is a little more chaotic. Typically I dread three times of the year. Spring break, Christmas break, and the first couple weeks of summer break when everyone is still getting used to the new system of things. This week was rather fun though! I enjoyed getting to spend more time with some of my kiddos, and I did not have to get up early any time this week. I missed one family though because I did not get to see those kids at all. :'(

Start of term.
Another phrase all college students know, but are not typically as enthusiastic about as spring break. My college is set up with two terms a semester, so I have eight weeks, finals, spring break, new classes for eight weeks, finals, and then summer break. This week I started my new classes in the second term and accidentally put two really homework heavy classes together, so it was good to get the first weeks worth of work done while I had a little extra time on my hands. I am taking New Testament Survey and Philosophy 201 and highly enjoying both. In New Testament I have to read the entire New Testament over the course of eight weeks, but that actually seems easy now compared to two days. Philosophy also has A TON of reading, but it is good books and very insightful. Both classes will be challenging in their own ways, but I'm looking forward to them both.

Passover.
Every year my best friend's family does a version of the Passover feast from Exodus. I have been a few times and love going! Though this year I was working later than usual and did not get there until right before we ate, which was not planned, but rather nice. ;) After the meal, we do a Jewish dance that is so much fun and I get to hang out with some of my closest friends for a while.

Computer failure.
Yesterday my computer decided to die a very unfortunately timed death, as I still had homework due and nothing to do it on. Granted, the laptop was a rigorously used computer for five years, but it will be missed dearly. The result was having to run to the store and buy a new computer that day so my homework could get done on time. Not great timing, but I'm liking my new computer (Sparky) quite a bit.

To be continued...
The week is still not over and I still have some exciting things to do! Sleepovers, shopping, church breakfasts, Easter service, keeping up with Semester friends, etc. I am so thankful to God that I have the amazing life that I do and can do it with such amazing people!!!

What's New

Since being home, I took a month off work to re-adjust and all that fun stuff. During that month, I was bored out of my mind quite a bit, having gone from a crazy schedule to absolutely nothing planned. It was good in a lot of ways, but now my life is the complete opposite.

Every day is a little different but my weeks consist of work, school, dance, and martial arts.

Working 50 hours a week (and sometimes more) is crazy. I love my little kiddos to pieces though and am so very happy to see them as much as I do. Some of them are old enough for school, and one is starting school next week, so I treasure the amount of time I have now with them before they are not around nearly as much.

School starts this week and this past week has been full of planning out the next semester's homework and study times and such. I am taking Old Testament History and Education Portfolio Development, which is basically just writing a million papers in eight weeks. I am actually quite looking forward to school starting though. It will be nice to have some mental challenges again.

Dance has been good and yet weird. I am not too fond of changing studios, but sometimes I have to do so. Seven months off has definitely caused some challenges in class, but it is coming back quickly and I am getting used to having two new teachers.

Since coming home, I have started martial arts (ninjutzu) with my brother. It is rather enjoyable, though ballet and ninjutzu don't mix very well. It takes a lot of focus and is stretching me in many new ways. I only have 4 more weeks of that before going back to just ballet again.

On top of all that, there is still teaching sunday school, keeping up with friends from school and at home, and having to be an adult. None of it is easy, but all of it is growing me and I am learning innumerable amounts of things.

2017 in a Nutshell

It has been quite an eventful year, but that has come to a close, so here are the highlights:

• Eddie turned 1!!!
• In March I went to WinterJam for the first time and saw Crowder and Tenth Avenue North live for the first time!
• Bella turned 7!!!
• I got to go to "Giselle" with Rebekah (The tales of bitter, dead women are endless)
• Completed finals for my sophomore year of college
• Had my last dance recital, at least for a while. 
• Rebekah and I had a 40th birthday celebrating both of our 20th birthdays 
• Drove to Kentucky and back in two days, with a little detour in Indiana to see Spider-man (It's a horse! It's a jockey! It's a guy on a horse!)
• Said the (at the time) hardest good-byes of my life and went to Summit Semester 
• Celebrated Farvest Hall
• Had Thanksgiving with more than just family, a lot more. 
• Graduated Summit Semester
• Said the current hardest good-byes to my family at Semester
• Returned to Illinois generally in one piece
• Got a new cousin!!!!!!!!!! 
• Nearly froze to death in Chicago with friends
• Had the best New Year's Eve with three dear friends from Summit
• Talked on the phone more than I ever have in my life between being at Semester and talking to Semester people now that we are all home. 

Here's to an amazing 2018!

Transitioning Home

It has been almost a month since my return to the "real world" from Summit Semester.

Sometimes it feels like a dream, almost like it never happened and was all in my imagination. But I know that's not true. Everyday is a little bit of a struggle to live everyday life without the family that was created and re-learning the most basic things like how my family functions in the simple day-to-day life.

I keep telling myself "it will get easier" but is that what I really want? Do I want it to get easier? Or do I want Semester to stay a constant thought in the back of my head and the way we lived to constantly be brought to mind as a reminder that this isn't all there is to life. A reminder of a better version of myself. Don't I want that more than to be comfortable or the pain of leaving to go away?

So in a sense, yes, I do want it to get easier, but I don't want the old habits and the things that were not benefiting me to rule anymore. I don't want it to be comfortable.  I want new habits to form and to find a way to become the same person at home that I was able to be in the context of Semester.

I miss everyone dearly, but getting to hear their voices on the phone has become a very special treat and makes me smile ear-to-ear every time I am able to call them. It can make it harder too, knowing they are so far away and I can't walk five minutes and be sitting next to them, but it is still good. Rewiring relationships can be hard, but slowly it is happening and I cannot wait for the day I am able to see them all again face-to-face. There is something so special about that and over the past four months I have learned how valuable being right in front of people is and how much it adds to the relationship.

Each day I remind myself that Summit wasn't the end of anything. It was the start of an amazing life with 31 amazing new friends. Though sometimes I still find myself looking at pictures and tearing up or texting with someone and feeling an ache in my heart because they're not here, I wouldn't trade a moment of this pain for their friendships and the experiences I was able to have.

For What It's Worth

"Our Neverland

Our Narnia

Our heaven on earth

You know I'll always love ya

For what it's worth."

~Katie Grace

How do I explain the past three months? The first question everyone asks is “what did you learn?” Then I have to wonder which category they are referring to.

In regards to work I have learned that all work is profitable and a pushing forward of redemption. It doesn't matter what society thinks, all work can be glorifying to God. This changes how work looks and also my attitude. It isn't an obligation, but rather a gift and privilege that God allows us to participate in with Him. What a blessing this is to us as God's children!

While work is important, so is rest and glorifying God through that as well. Taking time to worship through taking time for yourself and rejouvinating yourself is beneficial to you, but also for everyone around you. It is hard to serve others when you have nothing to give. Along with this comes being a good steward of your body and getting the rest you need.

In regards to other people, I have learned most people have many layers, and when you start to peel them all back, an amazing human being with feelings and scars and joys comes shining through, even the people who don't want you to see it. Relationships hurt, but that is also a joy of loving others. It is always worth the pain to love someone with pure abandon. All people have stories to tell, and all of our little stories work together to form the amazing story of Semester 2017.

A big part of being here has been learning about God and His relationship with His children. Even when it looks and feels as if God is nowhere to be found, looking around there has been a huge impact of where He is and how He is working. An example of this is that even when all of us have been falling apart and in despair, there has been encouragement between students, staff, and faculty and that love has still abounded. Strife between us has been minimal and dealt with maturely and quickly by all involved.

No, we are not perfect, but God has worked mightily through our many imperfections.

Of course I had classes too. Those taught me more than just facts, though there was a lot of that too. From church history starting in the Old Testament through the modern church, to English literature starting with Beowulf through Hemingway, to politics, to biblical foundations, which required us to read the entire New Testament in two days or less. The main point though was to learn to think for ourselves and to think well. As our beloved Bauman would say, "Be teachable or get out!"

Semester stretched me beyond what I thought possible, yet in good ways. It wasn't always easy, by any means of the imagination, but it was good. Dustin told us over and over that Semester is a safe place to fail, and that turned out to be more than true. Leaving this community was the hardest thing I think I have ever done in my life up to this point, but it was never meant to be forever. It was preparation for real life. Now we are in real life and have to fight for what we believe and live our lives in light of all the incredible lessons we learned in and out of the classroom.

"What if I fall?

Oh, but darling, what if you fly?"

~Peter Pan

"Now we're back to the beginning

It's just a feeling and no one knows yet.

But just because they can't feel it too

Doesn't mean that you have to forget."

~"The Call" Regina Spektor

A Wonderful Adventure

One month ago, I left everything I call “home” and came to Summit Semester in a little town in Colorado. I was well prepared and ready to go. More than ready, actually. I was brimming with energy and excitement at what this new adventure would hold.

Upon arrival, I was put out on the sports field with gloves and a shovel and started digging up weeds. Yep. That was our ice breaker activity. That’s what we did to set the tone for the upcoming three months. As odd as it sounds, it was a great way to start. Conversations arose while we worked and friendships began to form. Emma and Bella and I were working together and they are two of the people I spend the most time with, even a month later. After pulling weeds for three hours (I promise it wasn’t as terrible as it sounds!) Nathan and Terry (the maintenance workers who live here at the lodge) had us all say what we learned from pulling weeds. Believe it or not, there was a lesson to be had, and one we are all still learning twice a week through work crews. They still last three hours, though what we do changes depending on weather and what needs done. Sometimes we are still out pulling weeds, sometimes we are sanding, sometimes babysitting, building stairs, staining decks, cleaning the kitchen and making dinner, vacuuming and mopping the floors, and sometimes we are cleaning vans. But the lesson to be learned is that all work is dignified. All work is a part of redemption. All work is to be done for God. We are all learning and we will all continue to learn every day we have work crews or dish pit or any other task assigned.

There are 32 students here and I have the privilege of getting to know a lot of them over the past month. They are all pretty amazing people and I am thankful for each and every one of them. This past week though the “honeymoon phase” ended (as Dustin puts it) and we are starting finding things that initially didn’t bother us rather annoying. Through this God has been teaching me patience and grace, as several people get on my nerves or I find myself judging them for the things they are doing. Even if it is not okay, it’s not my place to judge. It annoys me, but I do things that annoy them too.

In small groups this past week, we were talking about an article by C.S. Lewis called “The Trouble with ‘X.’” It was a really good article and Dustin knew what he was doing by assigning us to read it. We all have someone who annoys us more than others and that we tend to judge especially harshly. Our “X.” But we also have to keep in mind that we are someone else’s “X.” I annoy people sometimes and do things that they judge me for. I’m not perfect. I’m just as human as they are.

The trees here are all changing colours and it is amazing! Out my window is a clear view of mountains covered in trees and they are gorgeous shades of orange, yellow, brown, and red. I am in constant amazement and awe of this beautiful creation God has made. The stars here are the most spectacular thing I have ever seen. I love sitting out on the balcony off the dining hall after class and just looking up at the starts. Thousands upon thousands of glimmering lights up in the sky. Sometimes I don’t have words to explain my joy when looking up and seeing all of those stars.

Naturally I have been in a lot of classes, but not as much as I had initially anticipated. Only about 4-5 hours a day and usually only Thursday through Saturday. The other days are much needed for study and spending some time with our amazing community. I have loved the interaction of classes and the thought provoking questions we are bombarded with each and every class. Right now we are in the process of reading Joshua, Symphony of Scripture, Mere Humanity, Inklings of Reality, Cultivate, and Romeo and Juliet. Yes, we read all of that at once. It is brain-numbing sometimes. My head often feels like it is going to explode and never come back together, but that’s good. It stretches all capacities to infinity and beyond.

Overall, I am loving it here. Sometimes it feels like I’m living in a bubble and it is going to pop at any moment, but right now I am just enjoying every moment and experience that is coming my way.