Another year past

Last year I wrote a post the night before my birthday, so I thought, "Why not do that again?" :)
Something I have been doing with my kids a lot is asking them "interview" questions and I thought it would be fun to use some of those for the night before my birthday. Maybe if I'm persistent and keep this up I'll be able to compare them in future years. It'll be fun anyways. So here we go!!!

• How old are you?
  21 (tomorrow)
• What is your favourite thing to do?
  Hiking, reading, or baking
• Where do you work?
  I nanny for two families
• What is your favourite food?
  Avocados or blueberries
• Who do you like to spend time with?
  Anyone my age
• What do you do really well?
  I'm not sure...hopefully my job
• What makes you laugh?
  Inside jokes, my friends
• What is the best part of the day?
  The moment I first wake up in the morning before the realities of life sink in
• What are you afraid of?
  Thunder and tornadoes 
• What do you love to learn about?
  Languages and theology
• Where is your favourite place?
  Colorado!
• What is the last book you read?
  Finished: An Experiment in Criticism (for the third time)
  In process: The Great Divorce
  Both by C.S. Lewis

Be the Change

I've heard it said over and over "Be the change you want to see in the world." But that inspires the question, "What is the change I want to see?"

While at Semester, a dear friend asked me this question, but not in those exact words. She asked me, "What breaks your heart?" It is basically the same question. It at least will get you to the same destination. I didn't know how to answer when she first asked me, and I asked her if I could think about it so I could give an honest answer. I answered her, but haven't actually stopped thinking about the question.

What breaks my heart? What is the change that I can make in the world? What can I do with my life in order to help "make the world a better place"?

God gives each of us passions. Things that we care about to the point it literally hurts. These are the things that break our hearts and inspire us to act. They are the things we live for every day, whether we know it or not. It is the things we want to do and find a deep satisfaction in doing, even if it is hard or doesn't seem worth it to the rest of the world. It's not just sadness, but motivation.

Sounds simple, right? Find what is pressing on your heart and act. Not too hard at all. Except....what happens when there's more than one thing? Or the issues you want to fix aren't connected in any way? Yes, poverty is terrible. Abortion is horrific. Schools are falling apart. Kids are left without homes or families. People don't know the Gospel of Jesus. Christians are being killed for what they believe. The list can go on and on forever. No one can fix all of it, except Jesus coming back. That's the toll sin paid on this world. All of these things hurt in the deepest part of my heart.

No, I'm not supergirl. I can't make abortion, poverty, or slavery go away in my lifetime. I can't fix all of Americas schools or adopt every child who needs a home. But I don't have to. Every person has something that presses a little harder. Something they want to do more than anything. Maybe I'll make a small difference in all of those areas. That would be nice, but those aren't what I believe I'm called to do.

My passion is for people to hear God's truth and to see lives changed by the news of His salvation. I want to reach out to people who don't have a way to see this for themselves. People without written languages who don't have the amazing privilege to read the Bible for themselves. I can pick up one of my many Bibles whenever I want, but there are people who don't even know what a Bible is. I want to give them a language to read for themselves. By the end of the school year, I will have read the New Testament entirely through twice in 6 months. That's a lot! But as I read through it for the second time, I'm realizing how much truth and joy it contains and how desperate people are to have it and don't even know it. This is what breaks my heart. This is the change I want to see. I want to see a change in people's lives and hearts being turned to God. I want to see families and communities being changed for God's glory. Yes, it is a big job. But I'm willing to let God use me in whatever way He needs in order to see that happen.

In short, I don't want to change the world. I want to watch God change the world. "Be the change you want to see in the world." Welp. I can't be God. I don't want to be God. But I am called to be like Him. I am called to be His hands and feet in this world, along with all of the other people He calls His own.

Praise God

From whom all blessings flow.

Praise Him

All creatures here below.

Praise Him

Above ye heavenly hosts

Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost

Amen

Some pictures...

I know! Another blog post in a week! It's incredible! I am actually getting on top of school and able to have my weekends free, which means I can use this blog a little more. :)

It has been a while since I have posted any pictures on here, so here are some from my life recently....

Park with Eddie Bear

My Sunday School kiddos singing for Easter

Lunch and shopping date with my twin <3

Many, many video calls with Bella

The Flash is a raccoon, didn't you know?

Finley and Eddie had a play date

Eddie making cookies

Eddie loves reading outside

Eddie playing outside

Bowling with Bella. She has
consistently won.

Simon bo-bimon playing with blocks. 

What a Week!

Most times, when looking at what happened this week, I would be overwhelmed and exhausted emotionally, as well as physically. It was a crazy week! But God is amazing and I actually enjoyed the week immensely.

Spring Break.
It is a term all students are familiar with, but also babysitters. It means the kids are not at school and my life is a little more chaotic. Typically I dread three times of the year. Spring break, Christmas break, and the first couple weeks of summer break when everyone is still getting used to the new system of things. This week was rather fun though! I enjoyed getting to spend more time with some of my kiddos, and I did not have to get up early any time this week. I missed one family though because I did not get to see those kids at all. :'(

Start of term.
Another phrase all college students know, but are not typically as enthusiastic about as spring break. My college is set up with two terms a semester, so I have eight weeks, finals, spring break, new classes for eight weeks, finals, and then summer break. This week I started my new classes in the second term and accidentally put two really homework heavy classes together, so it was good to get the first weeks worth of work done while I had a little extra time on my hands. I am taking New Testament Survey and Philosophy 201 and highly enjoying both. In New Testament I have to read the entire New Testament over the course of eight weeks, but that actually seems easy now compared to two days. Philosophy also has A TON of reading, but it is good books and very insightful. Both classes will be challenging in their own ways, but I'm looking forward to them both.

Passover.
Every year my best friend's family does a version of the Passover feast from Exodus. I have been a few times and love going! Though this year I was working later than usual and did not get there until right before we ate, which was not planned, but rather nice. ;) After the meal, we do a Jewish dance that is so much fun and I get to hang out with some of my closest friends for a while.

Computer failure.
Yesterday my computer decided to die a very unfortunately timed death, as I still had homework due and nothing to do it on. Granted, the laptop was a rigorously used computer for five years, but it will be missed dearly. The result was having to run to the store and buy a new computer that day so my homework could get done on time. Not great timing, but I'm liking my new computer (Sparky) quite a bit.

To be continued...
The week is still not over and I still have some exciting things to do! Sleepovers, shopping, church breakfasts, Easter service, keeping up with Semester friends, etc. I am so thankful to God that I have the amazing life that I do and can do it with such amazing people!!!

What's New

Since being home, I took a month off work to re-adjust and all that fun stuff. During that month, I was bored out of my mind quite a bit, having gone from a crazy schedule to absolutely nothing planned. It was good in a lot of ways, but now my life is the complete opposite.

Every day is a little different but my weeks consist of work, school, dance, and martial arts.

Working 50 hours a week (and sometimes more) is crazy. I love my little kiddos to pieces though and am so very happy to see them as much as I do. Some of them are old enough for school, and one is starting school next week, so I treasure the amount of time I have now with them before they are not around nearly as much.

School starts this week and this past week has been full of planning out the next semester's homework and study times and such. I am taking Old Testament History and Education Portfolio Development, which is basically just writing a million papers in eight weeks. I am actually quite looking forward to school starting though. It will be nice to have some mental challenges again.

Dance has been good and yet weird. I am not too fond of changing studios, but sometimes I have to do so. Seven months off has definitely caused some challenges in class, but it is coming back quickly and I am getting used to having two new teachers.

Since coming home, I have started martial arts (ninjutzu) with my brother. It is rather enjoyable, though ballet and ninjutzu don't mix very well. It takes a lot of focus and is stretching me in many new ways. I only have 4 more weeks of that before going back to just ballet again.

On top of all that, there is still teaching sunday school, keeping up with friends from school and at home, and having to be an adult. None of it is easy, but all of it is growing me and I am learning innumerable amounts of things.

2017 in a Nutshell

It has been quite an eventful year, but that has come to a close, so here are the highlights:

• Eddie turned 1!!!
• In March I went to WinterJam for the first time and saw Crowder and Tenth Avenue North live for the first time!
• Bella turned 7!!!
• I got to go to "Giselle" with Rebekah (The tales of bitter, dead women are endless)
• Completed finals for my sophomore year of college
• Had my last dance recital, at least for a while. 
• Rebekah and I had a 40th birthday celebrating both of our 20th birthdays 
• Drove to Kentucky and back in two days, with a little detour in Indiana to see Spider-man (It's a horse! It's a jockey! It's a guy on a horse!)
• Said the (at the time) hardest good-byes of my life and went to Summit Semester 
• Celebrated Farvest Hall
• Had Thanksgiving with more than just family, a lot more. 
• Graduated Summit Semester
• Said the current hardest good-byes to my family at Semester
• Returned to Illinois generally in one piece
• Got a new cousin!!!!!!!!!! 
• Nearly froze to death in Chicago with friends
• Had the best New Year's Eve with three dear friends from Summit
• Talked on the phone more than I ever have in my life between being at Semester and talking to Semester people now that we are all home. 

Here's to an amazing 2018!

Transitioning Home

It has been almost a month since my return to the "real world" from Summit Semester.

Sometimes it feels like a dream, almost like it never happened and was all in my imagination. But I know that's not true. Everyday is a little bit of a struggle to live everyday life without the family that was created and re-learning the most basic things like how my family functions in the simple day-to-day life.

I keep telling myself "it will get easier" but is that what I really want? Do I want it to get easier? Or do I want Semester to stay a constant thought in the back of my head and the way we lived to constantly be brought to mind as a reminder that this isn't all there is to life. A reminder of a better version of myself. Don't I want that more than to be comfortable or the pain of leaving to go away?

So in a sense, yes, I do want it to get easier, but I don't want the old habits and the things that were not benefiting me to rule anymore. I don't want it to be comfortable.  I want new habits to form and to find a way to become the same person at home that I was able to be in the context of Semester.

I miss everyone dearly, but getting to hear their voices on the phone has become a very special treat and makes me smile ear-to-ear every time I am able to call them. It can make it harder too, knowing they are so far away and I can't walk five minutes and be sitting next to them, but it is still good. Rewiring relationships can be hard, but slowly it is happening and I cannot wait for the day I am able to see them all again face-to-face. There is something so special about that and over the past four months I have learned how valuable being right in front of people is and how much it adds to the relationship.

Each day I remind myself that Summit wasn't the end of anything. It was the start of an amazing life with 31 amazing new friends. Though sometimes I still find myself looking at pictures and tearing up or texting with someone and feeling an ache in my heart because they're not here, I wouldn't trade a moment of this pain for their friendships and the experiences I was able to have.